Of Pineapples and Mistletoe
by qwerty91
Summary: For week one of the story convention. Noctis and friends are sent to get something Stella wants, but not everything goes as they thought it would.


**Okay so this story is an entry into the Final Fantasy Story Convention thread in Yuki Minamoto's forums -  
**

**WEEK 1**

**Deadline 30th December 2009. **

**Word limit – 2500 words**

**The following list is the requirements;  
**

**Stinkbombs  
**

**Santa suit  
**

**Pineapple  
**

**Mistletoe  
**

**Skis.  
**

**Quotes;  
**

**"Keep walking. Just keep walking"  
**

**"No that was my foot."  
**

**"Nope, no one here, just us dust mice."  
**

**"Someday I'll crack that egg open and see the deep abyss inside."  
**

**"Think of it this way, when I finally get what I want, you won't have to work for me anymore."  
**

**So without further ado...**

* * *

"Seriously dude... Why do I have to dress up as a pineapple?"

"It's a fancy dress party Vidal."

Vidal threw his hands up in the air in distress. "Yeah but why a fucking pineapple!?"

Favisor clapped him on the shoulder as they walked along.

"We offered you the nurse's outfit!"

Shrugging Favisor's hand off Vidal grumbled, "What kind of a choice is that!? A nurses outfit... Or a pineapple!"

"We didn't say it was a good, decent or fair choice! But it's a choice all the same," Quinn laughed as he jogged past the whining blonde to walk by Noctis' side.

"So... We on the pull tonight then, Noct?"

Vidal mumbled something containing the words "pull", "Vanille", "pineapple" and "you gits".

Noctis shook his head.

"Lightning would kill me. Literally kill me."

"Hard luck man." grinned Favisor, running his hands through his hair.

"Not really. I'm happy with Lightning. And I really want to make it work. She's really special."

There was a silence in which Noctis was gawked at by his three friends.

Once he realised they had stopped, he also stopped and turned back. He looked from one face to the next.

"What?"

Quinn broke into a grin, closely followed by Favisor and Vidal.

"You big soft bastard!" he crowed.

Noctis just rolled his eyes. "Grow up."

They continued walking but Quinn began questioning him.

"So you have something 'special', huh?"

"That's what I said, wasn't it?" Noctis huffed.

"You are going soft on us my friend!"

"Too many blows to the head I reckon" Favisor said, knowingly nodding his head and winking.

"Look," began Noctis, spinning around and stopping. "I love Lightning, ok? I don't want anyone else but her! She is amazing and the best thing that has ever happened to me! I don't care if you guys want to go 'on the pull' or whatever. I am not going to because like I said, I love her. Do you understand now?" He finished by raising his eyebrows questioningly.

Favisor paused, putting a serious face on.

"She's put a hidden earpiece on you, hasn't she?"

Noctis laughed and resumed walking. "I give up. You guys are idiots."

They joined in with his laughter. "But you wouldn't have us any other way, right?"

"Yeah. Sure. Keep walking. Just keep walking."

They continued walking along the street in a companionable silence. Noctis was dressed as a vampire. It hadn't taken much effort.

Favisor had allowed some stubble to grow to complete the image of a pirate. He had tears in his shirt, a leather waistcoat, eye patch and a bandana around his head. Vidal had commented that the material looked very similar to the material of one of his shirts. Favisor's guess was that it would be at least another week before he discovered the gaping hole in the shirt stuffed at the back of his wardrobe.

Quinn had decided to dress up as a science professor. Actually, that wasn't strictly true. Favisor had decided that Quinn was going to dress up as a professor. Quinn had grudgingly agreed but had felt considerably better after seeing The Pineapple Costume.

They continued walking until they heard a soft 'thump' and a muffled 'fuck'. Turning around they saw Vidal lying on the floor, his legs waving.

"What the hell happened?"

Clutching his nose and grimacing Vidal answered. "Lampost. Can't see a bloody thing in this costume..."

It was as though he had pulled a lever. The rest of them began laughing so hard they were doubled up, clutching their stomachs.

"Oh my god! You idiot!"

"Ow! Sides.... Splitting...."

Vidal managed to roll himself up and onto his feet. "I swear. You guys are dead."

As he stood up he froze upon seeing a figure stood behind his friends. She had a slight smile on her face and Vidal's face turned red quicker than a set of traffic lights.

Following his eyes the others turned to face the girl. Immediately they stopped laughing. Except Noctis who was still chuckling to himself, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Hi." she said, simply, before walking past them.

Noctis nodded at her. "Hey. You alright?"

Once she was out of earshot the others converged onto him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Vidal demanded.

"Erm... Laughing?"

"You made us look like right idiots!"

This comment set Noctis off laughing again. "Wait a minute! I made YOU look like an idiot?" He paused to look Vidal up and down, taking in the full 'idiotness' of the pineapple costume. "Really?"

Quinn stepped forward.

"But that was Stella!"

Noctis gave him a blank look. "So she's named after a brand of beer... I'm very happy for her. Kinda prefer Guiness, myself. But each to his own!" He fought the smile that he felt tugging at the corners of his lips.

"But it's Stella!"

* * * * *

Noctis pushed his way through the crowd. He was on a mission. A mission to throttle Vidal. So much for 'it will be a great party'.

As he was looking over his shoulder he walked straight into someone. By reflex he managed to grab her before she hit the ground. He saw that it was the girl from earlier.

"Shit, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?" he asked worriedly.

She laughed lightly. "Sure. Just a bit of a bump that's all." She brushed herself down. "Nothing a good drink won't cure," she added, pointedly.

Noctis laughed. "Sure. What will it be?"

* * * * *

They had made their way to the bar, squeezed their way between a guy dressed as a bee and a girl dressed as a... Disco ball? Maybe? Noctis wasn't quite sure. They ordered some drinks and began chatting. "So you are a prince, huh?" Stella asked, smiling.

"Yeah. Sort of," Noctis replied, rolling his eyes.

"What do you mean 'sort of'?"

Noctis sighed. "It's a long story."

She passed him another drink. "Well that's ok. We have a long time."

Laughing, he accepted the drink. "Well actually it's not that long a story. Basically I've given up my responsibilities as a prince."

"I see..." said Stella.

They continued talking for a while until Stella suddenly clutched her head as if in pain.

"What's wrong?" Noctis asked, worriedly.

"It's nothing," Stella replied, frowning. She grabbed her bag and stood up. I'm just going to go outside for a breath of fresh air."

As Noctis began to stand up she said, "No it's fine. I'll be ok. I won't be long."

He watched her walk out as her seat was taken by Vidal. If any more proof were needed that it is nigh impossible to sit on a barstool whilst dressed as a pineapple then this was it! Vidal succeeded in falling backwards off the stool as soon as he tried sitting down and knocked Mr Bee's drink over.

"Shit. I am so sorry!" bumbled Vidal (Pun not actually intended but welcome anyway!)

"Watch what the fuck you are doing you idiot!" the guy yelled, standing up and storming off.

Vidal managed to get up with the help of Noctis as they were joined by Quinn.

"Hey the chicks really dig the whole 'nutty professor' look!" he beamed.

"Yeah. Sure they do." laughed Vidal.

Quinn looked at him disbelievingly. "You're a pineapple that just got yelled at by a bee! I really dont think that your opinion counts for anything in this matter!"

Vidal glared at him. "Someday I'll crack that egg open and see the deep abyss inside," he said, tapping Quinn's head.

Before they could start arguing Noctis got up and began walking away.

"Hey! Where are you going!? You owe me a dri-"

Vidal's sentence was cut short as he was hit in the face by Noctis' wallet.

"Cheers!"

* * * * *

Noctis got out into the garden and saw Stella standing, leaning on a rail at the far end of the garden. He began making his way through the crowds of people. After a while the crowds thinned and he could walk much more freely. As he approached Stella she didn't look up or give any indication that she had noticed him.

Once he drew level with her he leant on the rail too, facing the opposite way.

She glanced at him, smiled and stood upright. Moving so that she was directly in front of him. And very close... Much too close in fact. Noctis froze as she smiled at him again.

"Look," she whispered. "Mistletoe."

As soon as Noctis glanced up she moved in to kiss him. Before he could react there was a blinding flash and she moved away. She walked over to a wall and came back holding something in her hands. A camera.

"Wha... What the hell did you take a picture for!?"

She smiled sweetly at him before answering.

"Blackmail."

* * * * *

"So.... Why are we here again?" Vidal asked for the hundredth time.

They were sat on a plane flying over the sea, dressed in thick coats and boots. They were heading for the North Pole.

"Because Stella needs our help."

"But why? Why suddenly decide to fly to the north pole to help someone you barely know?"

Noctis replied through gritted teeth. "Because she asked so nicely."

There was a pause as Vidal's brain tried, and failed, to work out if there was a hidden meaning in that sentence.

"But why does Lightning have to be told that-"

"Oh for-!" Noctis bit his fist to stop himself from exploding. "Just... Leave it. Ok?"

Vidal was about to answer when Quinn kicked him and nodded towards a hologram of Stella that had just flickered into life.

"Hi guys." The hologram made her voice slightly out of sync with her lips but the sound was perfect.

"Ok I'm just going to explain this once so pay attention."

"Don't worry," Favisor muttered under his breath to Vidal. "I'll convert it into picture format for you later."

Vidal stuck his finger up at him.

"Me and my team," continued Stella, "have been searching for one of the last remaining shards of the crystal which we have reason to believe is being kept in the north pole." She stopped as Quinn put his hand up.

"Sorry but why do you say 'kept'? You say that almost as if someone has it already..."

"That is correct."

"Oh."

"May I continue?"

Quinn gestured with his hand. "Erm... Sure?"

"Your job is to find this crystal shard. And return it to me."

"So let's get this straight.... We have got to go and freeze our ass off to find a crystal shard for YOU!? What's in it for us?"

"Think of it this way. When I finally get what I want, you won't have to work for me anymore."

"Thank god for small mercies..." Noctis muttered under his breath.

* * * * *

"Where is this thing gonna land by the way?" Vidal asked.

"It isn't," was the reply that he got.

"It… isn't?"

This time he got his answer by watching Favisor lift out four sets of skis from the storage compartment.

"Strap 'em on," grinned Quinn.

Vidal started to back away. "No chance! Absolutely not! You can forget it! I am not jumping!"

The rest of them calmly began putting on parachutes and the skis.

"Ok then. You can stay here."

"Really?" Vidal asked, suspiciously.

"Yep," replied Quinn standing up and moving to join the other two by the release hatch. "If you really want to!"

Noctis jumped, followed by Favisor. Quinn turned before he jumped, grinning evilly.

Then he threw a handful of pellets to the ground.

"Smell you later!"

He jumped and Vidal was left alone, curiously staring at the pellets on the ground. Then the smell hit him.

"Argh! For fu-!" he started, grapping his nose. "Fucking stinkbombs!" He hesitated a second longer before dashing towards the kit lying on the floor, hurriedly putting it on.

"Bastards."

* * * * *

"So…" said Favisor, swinging his arms casually. "How long till we see a little blonde speck come jumping out of the 'copter?"

Quinn shielded his eyes from the sun and the blinding white snow whilst watching the helicopter circle above. "I'd say about… now."

They continued to watch as Vidal jumped out. It was times like these that you regretted not bringing a set of binoculars with you. And a video camera. And a laptop. And an internet connection. And a YouTube account.

"Here he comes," Noctis muttered as the 'blonde speck' became much larger very quickly. Before you could say "Hoshit! Blonde speck!" he was upon them, inadvertently tackling them all to the ground in a desperate attempt to stop.

They slid to a halt a couple of feet away in a tangled pile.

"Oh crap! Look at my foot!" Vidal screamed.

"No that was my foot," Favisor remarked, kicking Vidal in the face.

"Yeah… my foot would never do that…" sighed Vidal, rubbing his nose.

They managed to untangle themselves with a lot of mumbling, swearing and kicks to the groin (Mostly aimed at Vidal… actually… all of them aimed at Vidal.)

Once they were upright (not including Vidal who was currently 'nursing' his groin) they began to look around.

"So where to now, boss man?" they asked Noctis.

He shrugged and said, "First things first we need to get out of these flight suits and into the snow suits that Stella supplied us with." He looked around and pointed off into the distance. "There's a cave over there. It will be warm enough to get changed."

* * * * *

"You are taking the fucking piss!"

The others turned to look at Noctis who was holding up a bright red suit at arms length, looking at it in disgust.

"Erm…" Favisor began, slowly, "Did you guys get a beard too?"

"She really expects us to wear these?" Vidal asked also pulling one out of his bag

"Don't act like you're disappointed!"

"Fuck you!" he snarled.

"Just…" said Noctis through clenched teeth, "…put them on… and never speak of this again.

As they finished getting changed Noctis held up a hand to silence them. He proceeded to walk deeper into the cave.

"Anyone there?" he called out.

"Nope, no one here, just us dust mice."

"Shut up!" he whispered.

He continued deeper into the cave, the others following behind. As they rounded the corner they saw a colossal fat man in a red suit, swigging brandy from a watering can, like a pipe!

"Alright, you landblubbers! What doyawant from Santa!?"

"A bike."

Everyone turned to stare at Vidal.

"What!?" he cried defensively.

"I can afford that! I sold my crystal on that thingiewhatsitcalled… eBay!"

Noctis' eyes widened. "Who bought it?"

"erm …. xXxStellaNoxFlueretxXx!!!"

They stood in silence as hundreds of hidden cameras flashed.

"So… it's a set up?" Vidal queried.

Noctis held his head in his hands.

"Fucking. Bitch."

* * *

**GARGH!!!! I hate it!!!! The ending sucks so much! *begins to cry* but I had to cut it REEEEAAALLY short due to the word limit of 2500 words…**

**Hopefully you all enjoyed the first part of it anyway.**

**See you all next time! (Hopefully)**


End file.
